And lo, the gates did open wide and within I saw a land of great desolation and ruin. I passed a lake of fire, filled with the souls of the lost, many of them wearing very surprised looks and name tags and waving pamphlets above the burning waters. I passed monsters, great and small, inflicting horrible tortures upon the hapless sinners, yet I was unmolested. Eventually, I came to a great throne, and he who sat upon it was Satan. He held aloft his right index finger, indicating that I should wait, as he finished some task on his BlackBerry. When he spoke it was as if storms, fire, and war were unleashed, yet his words were clear, "Hey, how's it goin'?"
"Oh, you know, work."
"Uh, well, you'll be wanting to get started, I guess. I'll show you to the kitchen."
From The Cook's Tale, Lost on the Way to Canterbury, The Missing Tales of Chaucer.
Feldham, Larry. University of London (Arkansas) Press, 1954
17 hours ago