Tuesday, July 15, 2008

History of Phyllo

I would like to correct a statement I made in a previous blog, in which I claimed that phyllo dough was the Devil's own creation.
Well, I was mistaken. Come to find out, phyllo dough was created by Kudurrus, a minor demon assigned to the area of Mesopotamia in the 8th century BC. Kudurrus, later, provided the inspiration for Daedalus's use of wax to secure the feathers in Icarus's wings. He also, much later, convinced Dieter Schilling, a food scientist with Nestle, that his invention, Hot Pockets, was a good idea.
Kudurrus also filled in for the lesser three Horsemen of the Apocalypse to maintain staffing during vacations and illnesses.
Reference the phyllo dough; it is thought that Kudurrus created the dough to drive cooks to acts of violence and mayhem. And in that regard, it has been a success.
By the 4th century BC, the art of making phyllo had been lost to all the world except for a handful of Greek grandmothers. This, and the Persian king's lust for baklava, led to the Persian invasion in Greece and the Spartan's heroic stand at Thermopylae. It was later discovered that the king had actually only misplaced his recipe.
The Phyllo Riots of 33 AD, in Jerusalem, led to the rounding up and subsequent crucifixions of hundreds of people.
Jean-Claude Le Jeune, a celebrated French chef of the 18th century, killed several members of his employers household, and then jumped from a parapet, impaling himself on a fishmonger, after working with phyllo dough.
Ho Chi Mihn, a pastry chef before leading his people in kicking the Japanese, French, then the Americans, out of Vietnam, pioneered the use of phyllo dough as shrapnel in improvised explosives.
So you see, if not actually created by Satan himself, phyllo is definately an instrument of the Devil's to work evil in our world.


gothcat said...

Fantastic!This post is exquisite.;)

Eric said...

Hey, thanks for your comments, Gothcat!

Maria said...

I shamefacedly admit that when I was in med school, I practically lived on hot pockets....