Low Impact, My Ass

Last Tuesday I looked in the mirror and realized that the guy in there was no longer getting fat, he was fat.
I didn't do anything about it right away, but by early afternoon I had had it. I felt like shit, my left eye had been twitching for about a month, I was trying to do paperwork that I was way behind on but kept getting interrupted...finally, I'd had it. I got up and walked out of the restaurant, but instead of walking out the front door and a couple of doors down to The Quarters, our friendly neighborhood dive bar, for a shot and a beer (my usual method of dealing), I walked out the back door and headed a block up the hill to the gym, and bought a membership.
I know that the fastest way for me to lose weight is to run. Four years ago, right after Z left, I had so much nervous energy that I started running just to have something to do, I went from not being able to finish a mile to running five almost every morning within a month, that combined with a total lack of appetite and no alcohol dropped thirty pounds in thirty days.
People were amazed, "Oh, my God, you look great!" they would say, followed by the inevitable, "How'd you do it?"
"Divorce," I'd answer. That shut 'em right up.
I stuck with it for quite a while, even started lifting weights, but stopped working out after a couple of injuries that make running out of the question for now. Now, I'm back to where I started, with not a divorce in the foreseeable future.
So, I started last Wednesday on an elliptical machine, "Low impact," I was told. Bullshit.
My knee's been killing me since Saturday, so today I switched to a bike. Now, my knee still hurts and my ass is feeling pretty impacted as well...but the eye twitch is gone.