Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Well, John's right, I do need to write more, mostly to clear my own head. Putting things down, even if I don't "publish" them, does usually help to put things in perspective. The problem is that everything I've felt like writing, everything I've felt lately, just makes me feel pathetic, like a foolish old man obsessing over the ones that got away, mistakes made, and roads not travelled, and I'm really, really getting tired of feeling and appearing that way.

Work? I'm pretty much not enjoying work at all right now. It's been slow as hell for the past few months (usual around here) and I got carried away when it was busy at Christmas and over spring break paying down debts. Now, that's a good thing, but it also means that I didn't go into the slow times with the cushion like I had last year. Plus, pretty much everyone at work has managed to piss me off lately and I really don't feel like ranting about that.

Right now, one of them is standing outside my office door, smoking, and talking about this fucking ab machine she wants to buy, and I'm about to snap.

The twins will be going to visit their mom and step-dad in Germany in June, and then they'll be moving out in August. This thrills and terrifies me and saddens me.

Now, another one, the new cook, just came in to brag about her pizzas, how perfect they are...then she's quiet for a minute and makes this "hmmmmmmm" noise, every time there's a silence she feels the need to fill it with a hmmmmmmm. Shit.

And one more thing, Facebook sucks ass. Really. I held out and held out against joining, but then I did because some of my good friends from high school and college were on there and some of my family was on there and it just seemed like a good way to stay in touch, especially for me, the guy who never calls or writes his friends and only communicates with most members of his family with a Christmas card (usually late).

Now she's back, talking about something else (all I can hear is my own teeth grinding) and taking my ibuprofen.

So, back to Facebook, it was pretty cool for a while, I enjoyed catching up with people, seeing pics of their families, staying in closer touch with my family, and I was able to not get dragged into the games and apps, learned how to block them so that I didn't have to see Bobby's Farmville activity every time I opened my page, but now people are getting in touch with me, people I never really wanted to hear from again, and of course I 'friend' them because I'm really bad at being rude from a safe distance, which is really weird.

So, yeah, that's about it.


John Gray jgsheffield@hotmail.com said...

you sound like a latter day Sam Spade....
your writing is always very FILM NOIR
......and everyone is allowed a reflective grumble from time to time

Texan said...

Ok so the gal making you grind your teeth is talking about a AB something or other machine... but a good work out or more than one might just do you some good... Running works for me.

Hate to tell you but I think you are pretty normal, thinking about...mistakes made, pretty sure you will have to get in line on that one! Roads not traveled, again the line thing...The ones that got away, that might be a guy thing, but everyone thinks back over their relationships if that is what you mean. Wear all this a few days and put away. Don't get stuck in it. I know sounds pretty trite but that doesn't make it bad advice.

John is so right about your writing, I thought the very same thing. Maybe your missing your calling.

Eric said...

Thanks to you both!

Texan, you're right, part of my problem is that I haven't been working out lately. Gonna have to fix that.

Maria said...

I joined facebook a year ago when a cousin talked me into it, said it was a great way to keep in touch, blah, blah, blah. I was horrified when facebook somehow highjacked my e-mail list and then invited everyone on it to be my "friend." This included people that I rarely spoke to and liked it just fine that way.

I jumped off that bandwagon quickly and have never been tempted to get back on. Except now that Liv and Bing are both leaving on the 26th...I am starting to wonder what the hell I am going to do with my time all summer. I'm already missing the constant smell of chlorine that wafted in the air all summer long from Liv's daily swim team practice.

Terroni said...

I get annoyed with facebook as well...for all the same reasons.