There I was thinking I might get two or three questions at the most and then Holly went and asked 30. Cool.
Terroni, I'm still working on yours, it's turned out to be the hardest to answer for some reason.
1. How do you feel about collecting your dog or cat's whiskers by taping them to a post-it note on the fridge? Too weird or acceptable?
Endearingly eccentric. Kinda like keeping a child's drawings there.
2. How do you feel about collecting the little stickers off of fruit by sticking them on the windowsill above the sink?
I don’t consciously collect them, but I do tend to just stick them where ever I happen to be when I eat the fruit, so I find banana, apple, orange and pear stickers in odd places: on the counter, the faucet, the fridge. Strangely not on the windowsill though.
3. What are your top 3 favorite trees?
3. Aspen 2. Oak 1. Sycamore
This was tough because I'm also very fond of the Larch and the Yew.
4. Do you clip your dog's toenails regularly? How does your dog feel about it?
I don’t, I rely on rocky trails and her love of digging to keep them short. I tried to clip Fanta’s nails once and I cut too short, she wailed like crazy and gave me a guilt trip for days. Never again.
5. Handlebar mustaches: yay or nay?
Only if you’re in a barbershop quartet.
6. Fu manchu mustaches: yay or nay?
Are you referring perhaps to the more common horseshoe, or “biker” mustache? Gotta love Wikepedia. I’ve had that one and it was fun…for a day.
7. Your lawn: Grass, garden or xeriscaping?
Weeds, but I don’t water and do mow, so it’s sort of like xeriscaping.
8. Do you wear a helmet when you ride bike?
Sometimes. I usually do on trails, but not on the street.
9. Do you ride bike?
Not as much as I’d like to, but yes.
10. Full moon rituals?
I’m all for the having a big fire and talking to trees with a few nekkid friends type, but not the Race with the Devil type.
11. Did you have a tire swing as a child?
I did. My sister and I had a couple hanging from a mimosa tree when we were small. I used to close my eyes and pretend to be a WWI flying ace…climbing, stalling, doing chandelles to get on my opponents tail.
But then every evening our two hogs would amble out of the woods where they spent the humid summer days wallowing in a nearby spring and hunting snakes and would take over the cool dirt of the dug out spots where we'd drag our feet underneath the swings and no amount of cajoling or prodding from a ten year old was going to move them.
12. Have you owned a good rope hammock? If so, where was it made?
I have not. I’ve always liked the idea of hammocks though. Once in Oklahoma I saw on the news where a man was killed when a tree that he had tied his hammock to had collapsed onto him. He was an attorney who had sued companies over questionable product safety issues.
13. Where does the best coffee grow?
Peru. I have absolutely no proof of this, it’s just where my cup of coffee of this morning came from.
14. Have you started making cheese yet?
Yes, making ricotta all the time now. We did experiment with mozzarella, but haven’t come up with a way to use fresh and keep the same style of pizza.
I would love to replace the gas ovens with wood, reduce the menu and use all fresh house-made mozzarella, but I would probably be burnt as a heretic.
15. Favorite kind of cheese?
I can’t pick a favorite, cheese is one of my favorite foods, I’d pretty much give up eating anything long before I’d go off cheese. I love blue, brie and sharp cheddars.
16. Did you make sling-shots as a child? Potato guns?
I did make a sling shot once, it broke and nearly took out my right eye. I never made a potato gun, but my friends and I used to have bottle rocket fights using pieces of pipe like rifles to launch the rockets.
17. Worst bike wreck?
Courtland, California when I was about eight. My friend Anthony and I had swapped bikes for the afternoon and were riding down the levy of the Sacramento River when the front of the bike started to shimmy. It became uncontrollable at the bottom of the levy and the handlebars snapped to one side and pitched me forward and over; I hit my face on the asphalt street.
Anthony panicked and rode home to tell his mom, I walked down the alley, bloody and crying, to his house where his mom and grandma doctored me while talking softly in Spanish before calling my mom.
18. Worst injury?
Above, I’ve been pretty luck considering some of the really dumb shit I’ve done.
19. Worst hangover?
New Year’s Day 1991, in anticipation of my pending service to King George I. There were at least four Long Island iced teas, an unknown number of beers and shots of several different flavors of schnapps.
I couldn’t raise my head from the pillow, or talk, until five o’clock the next evening. I threw up…a lot. The kids’ mom said that she thought I was going to die and after a while didn’t really care if I did.
20. Funnest drunk time?
Not the above. I’d have to say my thirty-seventh birthday and a bunch of us worked our way through several bars and I mooned cops (I was a sheriff’s deputy at the time) and my sister-in-law tried to kill her husband and I by driving us home in the back of their pickup while alternating between accelerating and braking.
Then there was this time when this happened. I really liked that time.
Oh, and then there was this time in Germany…
I’ve been drunk a few times.
21. Worst karaoke song?
Paradise by the Dashboard Light.
22. Write the worst concept for a TV show you can possibly think of.
Semi-literate people talking about anything in front of a live audience that is encouraged to shout at them.
Worse yet, those same people jumping off of stuff and hitting themselves in the testicles.
23. Write the best concept for a TV show you can possibly think of.
This show is a half-hour sitcom about life at a small town café. The cast consists of a crew of social misfits who somehow form a family headed by their wise and handsome boss who is somehow always wrong when he is most sure that he is right.
Oh, and the café turns into a space ship and they smuggle stuff and have adventures while fighting against their oppressive cyborg overlords from the planet Texas.
24. Flossing: yay or nay?
I’m all for it, but don’t do it nearly often enough.
25. What is your sacred place?
26. What is home and why do we long for it?
Home is that place (or time) when things were simple and any problem could be fixed with a kiss and a PB&J from mom.
My mom mixed the PB into a purple goo with grape jelly. Do this, it’s da bomb.
27. Last time you made a prank phone call.
Don’t remember, but considering my age it hasn’t been long enough.
28. Last time you ate pizza?
29. Rough estimate of how many pizza slices you have eaten in your life time?
30. Mayonaisse with french fries: too weird or acceptable?
Delicious, especially with cheese.
17 hours ago